I was 25 and single. Single LDS guys were rare in my city. Well, at least the ones about my age. Most of my friends were married. They had other couples to hang out with. I have been active all my life. I attended every single conference, Institute Classes and broadcast possible. Being in a place where you can find LDS people improves your chance of find “that special someone”. But, nope, there was no guy available in that “market”.
One day I had an unofficial conversation with my stake President, Hebert Homolka. I confided: “there is no man here”. By this, I meant: no guys available to date. I was not the only one complaining. I understand that it wasn't the Priesthood leader’s fault, but as he was my friend and not only my leader I felt comfortable to share. He answered me: “you should try the thing online”. I felt weird. I wasn't an “online person”. Then I saw myself going into those “what ifs”: “President, what if I fell into one of those prostitution networks?” There are tons of Brazilians dating or finding jobs out of the country that are forced to be sexual slaves. This happens especially in European countries. So, my stake President, who knows English better than I said: “When you find the guy, ask what Ward he attends, ask for that ward’s phone number. I`ll call his leaders to check his background”. I felt safe. He may not remember that, but I did. Actually I never asked for his help after that. I had my own way to do the right thing. The Temple was only 10 minutes away from my house. When there was a guy online interested in going to Brazil to meet me, I also invited him to bring his Temple Recommend, so we could go to the Temple together. In my mind, to marry me in the Temple, he has to be a Temple Recommend holder. So… This is what I did.
I went to one of those LDS dating websites, there are tons of them. I met the first one at www.ldsmingle.com. He went to Brazil, we had fun, but, we broke up. Then I met another guy at www.ldsplanet.com. Yes, I had profiles in many of these websites - ha-ha. This guy went to Brazil 2 times in almost 2 years of the relationship. But it didn't work. After two tries of online date, I felt like: “It is not going to work”. I was even accepting the idea of being a single forever. I would rather accept that, than marrying outside the Temple. In other words, for those who don`t know, yes, Ernie was my 3rd American boyfriend. And… How did I meet him? I used the technology on my behalf. I didn't have anything to do at the time I was just chatting with my ex every night after college. So, I connected into one of these websites, now, a third one: www.ldslinkup.com. Many guys were sending me e-mails; some good-looking ones, some weird ones, some funny ones, some dirty ones and even some inactive ones. I felt myself having fun and not feeling depressed. You don`t have to trust everything online. If someone shows no virtue in conversation, by a simple click, we can delete this person from our life forever. Easy. Right? Maybe not.
By sharing this: I`m not trying to say that the online thing is the best. It’s not magic. It’s not the perfect way to meet people. But at least it worked to me. I just would like to share a little more information about this online dating thing. Before the US guys arrived in Recife, I was available to go in a date with the LDS guys, but it never happened. “What if” someone interesting showed up? Would I lose the opportunity of dating someone closer to me? Of course not! But, there were no guys available or interested. I had no dates with Brazilians. The last Brazilian I dated was in 2002. Stupid Brazilians! Just kidding. How could they let me go? Ha-ha.
So, when I met Ernie, I had almost giving up. I didn't want to suffer again. It is a lot of emotional investment. Then I thought: “What if” He is the right guy? “What if” now, I`m the wrong, losing the chance of getting to know someone who shows interest? And after prayers, my worries went away. I welcomed him to my city. We were pretty honest about what was going on in our lives. Honesty was very helpful. So, Ernie went to Brazil 5 times, we got engaged on his second trip, during Christmas. The last time He flew, we went to Rio de Janeiro for my VISA interview. My family fell in love with him as they do with everybody else who shows the humor that Ernie has. My grandma took as good care of him as if he was her own blonde grown up grandson - ha-ha. Anyway; I arrived in Phoenix on November 18th, 2009. A month later we were sealed in the Mount Timpanogos Temple.
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